Every Time I Change

I got this random burst of inspiration from the difficulty of dyeing one's hair...this was going to be a funny piece and I started it out meaning it to be humorous, but as it got more detailed and complicated I had this weird revelation from seemingly nowhere...why do I dye my hair if it's such a pain?...maybe I dye my hair so much for a reason. I started thinking about it as I highlighted each of her little strands of hair. Every time I change something about myself it's generally to forget who I was in an earlier time, to be reborn, if you will...I used to cut my hair constantly, whenever it got over an inch, and since I've been letting it grow out I've been dyeing it a LOT. A lot of you will probably write that off as cosmetics or vanity, and I did too for the longest time...but hair is a huge metaphor for me in life, and the cutting off of hair features in a lot of my writing as a symbol for change, growth, letting go of something painful.

This piece was hard to finish...I actually started crying. I'm about to make a huge change in my life, and a lot of painful things lie dying in the road behind me (if you'll let yourself go all Art Garfunkelly for a minute and play along). I'd like to think that these changes I'm making to better myself and my life are not just betterments, but a way of letting go of the past, moving on, finding myself.

I know, that sounds like bullshit, but for those of you who know me and know how often I pontificate on matters such as this (close to never), it's a big deal, it's not BS. I really feel like this piece symbolises both the pain and the relief of letting go of the past, even if it's difficult and messy and stains up the couch an awful lot. And sometimes what you thought was going to be purple turns out to be a horrid shade of pink, but you've gotta realise, things needed to change, even if the change isn't always positive. The past dies for a reason and there are beautiful and bright things on the horizon.

Boring technical quips: I used the layer mask on the different layers for the couch to make it appear immaterial because it's not really that important; I made sure to use really dull colours in most of the drawing, focusing on keeping relatively low saturation, to make the hair stand out more on the light blue. I actually own long johns like that and I wore them today.

I hope you like this piece, it's one of my favourites that I've done, if not my favourite, for its emotional meaning. I have many brainchildren, but let's just say, this is my future harvard graduate.