So, my wedding is canceled and I couldn't be happier!
Nick and I decided we were better off waiting until we could finance more of the wedding by ourselves, so it's postponed indefinitely. Well, more to the point, we realized there was just no real urgency to it. We've been engaged for years and years, but "just to get it over with" is a really crap reason to get married. Why not do it later in life, when we could have a real honeymoon?
I think for a lot of girls, it's this big deal, and they want the white wedding and the dress and the flowers and perfection and whatnot... I just never cared about any of that stuff. We had been planning a casual outdoor wedding but I realized in the end that all I really wanted was a big party where I could say goodbye to everyone on the east coast. So that's what we're doing instead! No more worrying and planning, and I don't need to stress about finding a dress...the next few months are going to be very relaxing.
Marriage would really just be a formality at this point, since we've been together nearly 7 years and have lived together for 5. It's kind of funny to think of us living perpetually "in sin". Actually, I read that that's becoming a more and more common arrangement with younger people. I don't mind, apart from the awkwardness of calling him my "fiance" for years and years and having everyone ask when the wedding is...maybe I should just switch to "partner" and be done with it.
Anyway I'm relieved, and to be honest I feel much less guilty now.. in my younger days I swore I wouldn't get married until marriage was an equal institution. Maybe I'll have my wish
I'm in a good mood today!